Emotion

I am far too easily coerced into identifying emotionally with even poorly-constructed characters in the media I consume. I have, more times than I care to admit, gone to bed feeling crushingly depressed because of an event that occurred on a show or something I failed to prevent in a video game. Of course, this means that, on average, I get way more enjoyment out of games even though I am terrible at them - and I am far too forgiving of TV show gaffes since I so want things to be the way they are presented.

I might feel too much.

It is because of this that Heavy Rain is both incredible and the worst thing for me. It is a masterpiece of an interactive movie/game - I haven't played anything that approaches it before - but at the same time, it is a terribly tragic story spread across four (so far) relateable and believable characters. I've started to adopt personalities for each character so far, such that I never really have to wonder what I, playing that role, will do in any situation. Once presented with the options for any situation the game places me in, I am able to feel out what I - as this digitally-rendered actor - will do. It is an exceptionally curious feeling once the game is shut off, but it is incredibly immersive if I don't try to think too hard about the whole thing.

I might also be crazy.

I'm back in insurance hell again; my largely-useless dental insurer is adding new hoops through which I am expected to jump. I feel bad every time I start to think about complaining - after all, I am already decidedly fortunate to have insurance in the first place - but somehow that feeling is not so comforting. I think the biggest hurdle is my intense dislike for talking on the phone with strangers.

I'm back in headphone dreamland, but this time I think I might stop talking and lusting after all of them and order an end-all-be-all pair just to be done with it. I have to finish my insurance nonsense first; then I can deal with that.

Though I managed to miss the actual release date, the new Manchester Orchestra album, Simple Math, is excellent. Considerably more chill than their past albums, but I like it all the same. It has sort-of a Sunny Day Real Estate vibe to it I think.

I've been feeling more and more guilty that I seemingly abandoned songwriting for the pursuit of an education, but I can't seem to start writing again. I'm not sure what to do about it.

Goodnight.